They may have suffered through a troubled childhood experience that has wounded them or they now have higher priorities such as their career or taking care of a sick parent.Perhaps, they are recently divorced or widowed, and legitimately not ready to get involved in an intimate relationship.Then, there are those who are too afraid of taking the risk of falling in love because they have been hurt too much in their previous relationships.Ironically, most emotionally unavailable people are easy to spot, quite transparent, showing you their true colors, right from the beginning.I’ve noticed a prevailing ideology amongst women today, from the stories I hear from my female friends, who keep telling me about the harsh realities of dating frowsy dudes in 2011.One of the most common complaints I keep hearing is that the dudes they are dating are failing [in their actions] to prove how serious they are about being with these women, even though they constantly, verbally reassure them that they want to be with them.Call it hubris, ignorance or a selfish pursuit of achievement, but the diagnosis is based on simply misreading their partner – because they can achieve the feeling, just not WITH you.
And then you meet someone new, and those insecurities start to come out. These are the confessions every damaged girl wishes they could say out loud. You meet us, and you get excited about the woman you think we are.
You wish you could date with a clean canvas – no baggage, no quiet voices whispering your fears – but the paint has been laid down thick. We begin to fear letting you see the parts of us that are complicated – the parts where we spin out because you’ve done something that reminds us of a time before.
We want to trust you, and we know we should be more secure, but we aren’t and that’s the byproduct of being f*cked over.
Have you ever met someone who "romantically" knocked you off your feet -- as in "Hi Mom and Dad...
you're not going to believe this, but I just met the man of my dreams! How did they miss the obvious warning signs before they became intimate and gave their heart away? " or "He wants the same thing I want: to settle down and have children.") For those of us who've been in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person, we know the pain of not being able to get close to the person we love.