So I wrote a post on harsh dating truths that men need to hear.You “need to know.” I counter with this: If you’re having a fun, great, sexy time, why oh why would you drop those dreaded words, “Where is this going? I felt pressured to say what I think he wanted to hear, and if that’s your idea of honesty, well. I’ve often found myself marking time FROM THIS TALK, wondering who would be the one to bail out first. And that why having The Talk too early is horrible because it starts with “I like you a lot” and ends with “and this is what I need you to do/not do, etc.” It legislates. There will be plenty of time to make it quite clear what you want, and then, if he’s unwilling to provide that, you’ll know you have a decision to make. You think that if you know more about what’s going on under the hood you’ll feel better, but that may not be the case. What matters is that you keep choosing to spend time with and enjoy each other. She wants to know if he’s her boyfriend or if he could be, and worries that by not nailing it down she’s being played.” It’s the relationship equivalent of walking into the middle of a great party, turning off the music, flipping on all the lights, and saying, “So, I just want to check. Why create this pressure when you’re really trying to get to know someone? Do you really want to know he likes you a lot but is getting over a crush from last summer, or that his ex-girlfriend has been calling again? I tell her, yes, it You do this by maintaining a rich and vital connection, staying in touch and letting that person know you’re very much interested.My ex-boyfriend started texting me last week after we haven’t talked in months. This isn’t the first time an ex has gotten in touch with me even though he’s dating someone else.Why do guys try to talk to their exes even when they’ve clearly already moved on? There are lots of reasons your ex-boyfriend might contact you even though he has a new flame.